For me, recovery started when I began opening up to others. At the beginning, I didn’t want to get better because I taught that I was just fine! Then when realized my heart couldn’t beat how it supposed to and my liver and kidneys not worked well and I had to feed a tube in my stomach I realized that I wasn’t fine!
I wanted to get better on my own, but I just couldn’t do it. I needed other people to support me and help me say no to things that I couldn’t and keep me company I needed them to talk to about how scared and overwhelmed I felt and to pray for me and tell me that I’ll be ok, even if I was fucked up.
So I started accepting treatment from professionals and there I met people who showed me that there was a life that was worth it to fighting for. U are not you’re eating disorder; no matter how long you’ve had it or how bad it feels. It’s scary to give up on an old identity, especially when you’re not sure there’s a new one to step into. Even if you don’t know who you are, God does. He has plans for you and purpose and hope. I know how it hurts and I know it’s hard, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible Just because you’ve tried before and relapsed, doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Keep going!
There are sometimes that I don’t want to keep going and then someone holds my hand and push me to keep fighting again. It’s a process and it will take time. But the more you try it, the more likely you are to succeed! There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever.
There are only small steps upward; an easier day also the shittiest days, an unexpected laugh that fuels your heart, eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest. But when u keep trying and trying until a life starts to take shape.
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us Though no one can go back and make a new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end, You are not alone. Trust me, there is a life after death!